Update: I had come back here when I heard news of bell hooks' passing and wondered if I should write a response. But Laverne Cox has done it more completely on her podcast https://open.spotify.com/episode/4600llXrhBfLa47oo3YxfQ?si=2MrHHc8QQoG7Mq6TLYUg2A. This episode re-emphasizes the point I wanted to make in this article: we can disagree and still love each other, we can allow each other the room to evolve. We need to return to a culture of caring dialogue.