I'm glad you bring these questions to the table. It shows me that you are open to dialog, and that is the only path I see to bridging the "divides" that you mention.

All of these issues touch upon the basic fabric of our democracy and how we uphold the basic human rights of a minority. If we just rely on majority rule, then we don't have a way to protect a minority group from a dominant oppressor. That is why we have balances of power like State and Federal oversight and a judiciary system.

In each case, there are two (or more) sides to an issue. We have to determine what is being claimed on each side. Are you asking for access to a basic human right to which you have been denied? Or do you have access, but feel uncomfortable or threatened by someone else having that access? From a legal perspective, it is our social obligation to protect the former. But in a day to day living situation, we need to address both.

So, yes, one way to address some of the issues you mention is through education. For example, to those people who fear seeing genitals that are not like theirs in the locker room, I can tell you that as a person with non-conforming genitals I don't want people to see that either. In the case where I might imagine a trans kid going out of their way to expose themselves in the locker room (and that is a far stretch of my imagination), I can only see it as an act of protest against some severe oppression of their right to exist.

In terms of sports, studies have shown that trans kids in sports over the past 20 or 30 years has not resulted in them dominating the competition. In terms of professional sports, one year of hormone treatment generally neutralizes the biological advantage that trans women may have had in terms of muscle mass or hormones. (They may still have a height advantage, but so do some cisgender women athletes). Mostly, trans kids just want to play and many teammates are just fine with that.

Does having this kind of information help? For some people it does, and for others it feels like they just hear two sides spouting different stories. When that happens, I like to ask the person I'm talking to what they fear might happen and what information they base that on. Often, when we start talking about gender inclusion, it sounds like all we care about are the gender queer kids. If all parents and students can feel heard and acknowledged that they, too, deserve a safe environment to learn and socialize and play sports, it can quell some of the fears. I would still uphold the protections for the trans and non-binary students and let others know that giving trans kids access to what they already have access to is not a threat to them. They now get to share with more people than they were before.